Celebrity New Year's Resolutions For 2015

(Or at least they should be.)

Matthew McConaughey: hire a translator

Via hollywoodreporter.com

Can't the volume go up any more? No? That's just his voice?

Harry Styles: find a different hat

Via s3-ec.buzzfed.com

Seriously, any hat. Even a bucket hat or a fedora would be preferable at this point.

Jay-Z: start taking the stairs

Via flyheight.com

Something went down in that elevator, and it wasn't just the floor.

Taylor Swift: purchase a GPS

Via billboard.com

... so she can finally figure out whether she's out of the woods, once and for all.

Kim Kardashian: get, you know, a table to hold her drinks

Via image-cdn.zap2it.com

No ifs, ands, or butts.

Prince George - learn to share the world's adoration

Via images.thehollywoodgossip.com

Sharing toys is hard enough, but sharing the love of millions?

Ariana Grande: avoid wings

Getty Images Samir Hussein / Via images.thehollywoodgossip.com

Victoria's Secret is that she's got it out for Ariana.

Red Bull: avoid mentioning wings

Via cdn.abclocal.go.com

New slogan idea: "Red Bull gives you no guarantees."

Meghan Trainor: buy a subwoofer

Via cos.h-cdn.co

All about that bass, 'bout that bass, no treble.

Seth Rogen: ????

Via www3.pictures.zimbio.com

Become less dangerous?

Smoke less pot?

Smoke more pot?

Piss off more dictators?

This guy's way more complicated than what Pineapple Express prepared me for.