15 Reasons I’m Terrified Of Samsung’s New Android Phone

This is the most ominous smartphone announcement I’ve ever seen. Apparently the Samsung Galaxy S III is “designed for humans.” But for doing what to humans?? posted on

1. Because it knows how to “mimic” nature

2. Because it’s watching you…

3. …and knows when you’re watching it

4. Because this is gross

5. Because it’s a little too interested in your “personal wellness”

6. Because it speaks a language that no human could possibly understand…

7. …and yet understands everyone else

8. Because it’s already “part of our lives”

9. Because I’m not sure they’re talking about phones anymore

10. Because it can read your mind

11. Because this is its first ad

12. Because it has something called “hyperglaze”

13. Because this sounds sinister

14. Because I don’t know what any of this means

15. Because holy shit this isn’t funny anymore

For a full rundown of this VERY ALARMING TECHNOLOGY DEVELOPMENT, head over to The Verge

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