1. Sexual enhancement will be gender-neutral.
Viagra has been a privilege enjoyed exclusively by men, mostly because scientists are worried it’ll turn women into nymphos and lead to the crumbling of society. But new studies are showing that Viagra is effectively helping women achieve orgasms, making a world in which women can “have sex like a man” very close indeed.
2. Condoms will be super easy to put on.
The Bill & Melinda Gates Foundation has donated $1 million to fund 11 different scientific research projects hoping to create a “next generation” that will be thinner and easier to use.
3. Sex dolls will be extremely lifelike.
Inflatable sex dolls have been around for years, but now the dolls available are shockingly real. (Link NSFW)
4. You’ll be able to pleasure your partner remotely.
Long-distance couples, rejoice. With Durex’s “Fundawear,” all you have to do is put on your special built-in Bluetooth panties, and thousands of miles away, your boyfriend can give you an orgasm just by pressing a button on his phone. Although this will make the “Does Sexting Count As Cheating” argument of the future even more complicated.
5. Everyone will have sex with their glasses on.
Thanks to Google Glasses’ Glance app, you can have sex with your partner while watching yourself. Cheeky, Google, very cheeky.
The only problem is that this heightens the potential danger of falling in love with yourself:
6. Sex with robots will totally be trendy.
Robotic prostitution is becoming more and more likely, but that might actually be a good thing since drug-resistant STIs are on the rise and robots are an STI-free alternative. Not to mention having sex with robots, supposedly, can give us longer, more intense orgasms.
7. People will watch a lot more porn.
Devices like Google Glass will make it much easier to watch X-rated materials in places where porn-watching is not welcome (like at work, or while having dinner with your in-laws). It could even potentially save the porn industry. Only downside is people could actually be watching porn all the time and you’ll never know.
8. Porn will become more social-media-friendly.
Major social media sites are stubbornly prudish when it comes to porn, but new sites like PinSex are going to make it socially acceptable to share your sexual fetishes with everyone you know. Titties for all.
9. People will mostly have sex for fun.
Soon enough it’s going to be possible for parents to handpick their child’s genetics, including health and personality traits. With all of that boring reproductive stuff out of the way, sex will become more of the “bedroom hobby” it was always meant to be.
10. Apps will help you find biologically compatible partners.
The same advances in the study of genetics will open up a world of possibilities for new dating apps. So instead of choosing someone based on whether or not you both love dogs, you could choose based on whether or not your genetic makeup is compatible. In theory, this would eliminate bad kissing forever.
11. Being single will be better than ever.
Designed by British pleasure expert extraordinaire Anne Summers, this terrifying-looking new sex toy promises to enable women to achieve a “third-level orgasm.” If you want a pleasure treasure that looks a little less like a model of alien, you might prefer Ora, the “world’s most sophisticated oral stimulator.” Between that and a bottle of wine, you may never need a man again.
12. You’ll be able to sexually multi-task.
Imagine an alarm clock and vibrator all in one. Put it on, set the time, and it wakes you up by vibrating gently and then stronger and stronger. So you can pair your favorite activity of the day with your least favorite. The future rocks.
13. Taking clothes off will be easier (and more musical).
Inspired by high-tech bras he’d found in Syria, Randy Sarafan created every fumbling teenage boy’s dream: a bra that magically flies off with the clap of your hands. No word yet on how it would be safe to wear anyplace except your own apartment.
While you’re at it, make sure to pick up some underwear with built-in ringtones. Because god knows genitals just aren’t musical enough.
14. You’ll be able to create your own sex toys.
The rise of 3-D printing will allow for everyone to create their own sex toys via websites, and maybe even at home. Finally, products tailored to your exact shape and size.
15. Falling in love with your computer will be totally cool.
In Japan, virtual girlfriends are on the rise, mostly because they’re less work and demand less commitment than their flesh-and-blood counterparts. Looks like the future is a stress- (and cuddle-) free environment.
16. The future is a great place if you enjoy the single life.
You might have already realized this, what with all of the hyperrealistic sex dolls, OS systems, and video game girlfriends you’ll have to choose from. Who needs a human anyway? Experts are predicting that we are moving into a transhumanist era, one in which marriages and natural childbirth will increasingly become a thing of the past.