1. Booking airline tickets on the phone.
Although you can still call, most of us book our flights online. That is until a flight is canceled, and everyone thinks they’ll outsmart their fellow fliers by calling the airline directly. Have fun waiting on hold since there aren’t as many operators anymore!
2. Watching live TV.
Unless it’s sports, and even then DVR-ing saves you the trouble of accidentally coming across that sad Sarah McLachlan animal commercial.
3. Buying an actual copy of an album.
Not that you would have anything to play it on, since you just bought that Bluetooth speaker system, amirite?
4. Using fax machines.
Like the McRib, I thought fax machines had gone extinct in the ’80s. I was wrong on both accounts.
5. Buying and using actual paper calendars.
But what else are you going to get the person you have no clue what present to buy for at Christmas?
6. Writing checks on the regular.
Unless you’re writing checks your ass can’t cash! Hiyo! But really, once a month for rent and shit and even then it’s like, “How do I fill this out again?”
7. Going to the arcade.
Are there arcades still? How come we still have fax machines but hardly any arcades? I blame the polar vortex.
8. Handwriting letters.
Hell, just writing with your hands in general. And don’t even get me started on cursive…
9. Going to the library.
E-books and Amazon are quickly killing the need to go the library. Unless, that is, you’re in a strange town and really need to use the restroom because then it’s like, “Thank the lord/government for all these libraries!”
10. Reading/subscribing to the paper.
Ewwww. All that ink rubbing off on your hands? No thank you. And all those “stories” and “news”? Double gross.
11. Doing math by hand.
Have you tried splitting the bill at a birthday party dinner with just pen and paper? Yeah, me either. That’s why God invented the phone calculator, duh.
12. Having a house line.
I haven’t had a house line since college and that was — gets out calculator — many years ago. People with house lines are like unicorns. Unicorns with dependable telecommunication.
13. Creating photo albums.
But what happens when Facebook and Flickr go kaput? What will happen to your memories of “Our FUckin Cray CraY Cabo Vacay 2012” then?