1. Pictures with tall people are always a little embarrassing.
For the other people in the photo, that is, since you are too busy looking handsomely into the distance.
2. You live longer, apparently.
Take that, NBA players besides Spud Webb and Muggsy Bogues!
3. Tall women who refuse to date you don’t know what they are missing.
Just because you’re short doesn’t mean everything else* is.
4. Same thing for short women who only date tall men.
Why the petite ladies gotta do you like that? You guys are a perfect match!
5. Starting the school year and realizing that you stopped growing but your friends didn’t = the worst.
6. Being accused of having a “Napoleon complex” is maddening.
Look, if a tall guy is confident but a dick he’s just a dick, but if a short guy acts the same way he is “overcompensating.” Bullshit. All men can equally be total dicks no matter their height. Plus, Napoleon wasn’t even that short for the time, so there.
7. Finding clothes that don’t need alterations is like finding gold.
Pants and jackets are almost never the correct length, so when they are you buy five of each, just in case.
8. Wearing super baggy pants will make you look even shorter.
Just another reason not to wear baggy clothes, IMO.
9. You hold out hope that society reintroduces the classic man heel.
If they were good enough for The Beatles they should be good enough for you.
10. There is no shame in shopping in the boy’s section.
If a boy’s extra large equals a men’s small there is nothing wrong with buying it, mostly because they are usually half the price.
11. Being picked last at sports just because you are short sucks.
You’re short, not unskilled.
12. But surprising everyone is priceless.
::: drops mic :::
13. If you get caught looking at boobs that is only because they are perfectly at eye level.
Looking at you, women in high heels.
14. Being described as “adorable” or “pocket-sized” is infuriating.
Same goes for “munchkin” and “Hobbit,” unless of course you starred in Lord of the Rings.
15. Airplanes and small cars are no problem for you.
Leg room up the wazoo, y’all!
16. However, being forced to sit in the middle seat in the back of a full car is a bummer.
17. Swallowing your pride and asking a tall person to get something for you is agony.
It’s not your fault they make cabinets and shelves so high.
18. Being in a crowd and not being able see shit.
“Eh, guess I’ll find out later what all the clapping was for.”
19. Short guys make the best actors.
Al Pacino, Dustin Hoffman, Tom Cruise, Ben Kingsley… Shall I go on?