2. Toothpaste > Condoms
I guess this person was more into oral care than, well… ::: adjusts tie :::
3. Cognac > Lego’s
Booze is an acceptable gift for ages 5-12, right?
5. Rice Krispies Treats > Condoms
At least the Rice Krispies Treats will last longer than five minutes. Hiyo!
6. Ruffles > Feminine pads
It’s that time of the month… Ruffles time!
7. School supplies > Smirnoff Ice
Her sorority sisters are gonna be pissed.
8. Sparkling wine > Underrated animated classics
What are they going to watch now? The ceiling spin?
9. Salad > Sandwich meat
Maybe they needed more fiber in their diet. We’ll never know.
11. Beer > Flowers
“I was going to apologize, but then I was like, nope.” — Whoever left these flowers.
12. Beer > Froot Loops
Somebody just found out that all the Froot Loops taste the same.
13. Snickers > Cabbage
That cabbage soup diet can wait until tomorrow. Tonight, we feast like kings!
15. Organic granola bars > Lubricant
What’s more arousing than a sensible snack made with wholesome, organic ingredients?
16. Chips > Condoms
“Who am I kidding? She’s never gonna call.” — The dude who left these than drowned his sorrows in saturated fats.
17. Cheese > Swedish Fish
It’s “cheese and crackers” not “Swedish Fish and crackers.” I mean, I guess you could eat Swedish Fish and crackers but then what’s next? Cats getting along with dogs? It would be pure anarchy!
18. Little Debbie > Lil Cuties
I’ve never noticed how wrong Little Debbie’s Little Muffins sounded until right now.
19. Little Debbie’s > 10 Minute workout system
I’m guessing this is the same person who gave up the Lil Cuties.
20. Beer > Chicken Wings
Ain’t no thang to leave behind the chicken wings!
21. Red Lobster Cheddar Biscuit mix > Goth dolls
What little girl wouldn’t rather be surprised with cheesy, herby, goodness than a doll? No girl, that’s who.
22. Boxed wine > Potatoes
I’m not going to lie but I might have left those.
23. Diapers > Turkey hunting decoy
Somebody just got the text saying, “U think UR going with th boys this weeknd? Think again, buster!”
24. Diabetes Weight Loss Kit > Cookies
“Oh, yeah. That’s what all that insulin in the fridge is for.”
25. Ice Cream > Broccoli
I’m sure whoever left this broccoli had a good, long, three-second debate before trading it in for some Mint Chip.
26. Pregnancy test > Bananas
Contrary to the old wives tale, bananas are not a reliable way to find out if one is with child.