1. Not shaking the bottle hard enough and getting ketchup water.
Aka the gross pudding skin of condiments.
2. Forgetting to wipe the bottle, then later dealing with ketchup crust.
Good luck getting it closed properly if you don’t.
3. Defending yourself when people say only mustard should go on hot dogs.
Oh, be quiet mustard freaks.
4. Seeing one of these at a restaurant and jumping for joy.
All the ketchup I want? Is it my birthday?
5. The thrill of trying new and exciting varieties.
I am green with envy right now.
6. People giving you side eye for putting ketchup on everything.
What? It tastes great on everything.
7. Having stashes of these little guys everywhere.
They never go bad, right?
8. The agony and ecstasy of opening a new bottle and waiting for it to come out.
9. When you get a little more than you wanted.
Not that you won’t eat all of it, though.
10. Saying “yes” to ketchup at a drive thru and getting hardly any.
Who only eats this much ketchup? Fairies?
12. When there is hardly any left in the bottle and it starts to fart.
It wasn’t me, it was the bottle, I swear!
13. Watching as someone who doesn’t know the Heinz 57 trick struggles in frustration.
Don’t be a George Costanza.
14. You are the ambassador of teaching people this ketchup hack.
You’re welcome, world!
15. The injustice of restaurants that refuse to serve ketchup.
I mean, it’s their right to be wrong, I guess.
16. You know the difference between ketchup and catsup.
Which is that there is no difference, save one spelling being a letter away from “catsoup.”