1. Pizza Lunchables
This is probably one of the more horrid things to eat as a kid, never mind in adulthood. Who thought cold pizza sauce on pita bread was a good idea is anybody’s guess.
2. Anything made in an Easy-Bake Oven
LOL, like your food ever turned out like this. It was either way overcooked or way under, yet you still ate it because COOKING!
3. or a Queasy Bake Cookerator
At least it was true to its name.
4. Bazooka Bubble Gum
It looks like an eraser and tastes almost the same (for the ten seconds it has flavor, that is). You really only ate these for the comic in the wrapper, which was usually just as disappointing as the gum itself.
5. Pixy Stix
“You know what I could go for right about now? About twelve straws full of sugar.” — No adult ever.
6. Yellow cheese slices
The term “cheese” is given great leniency, since it tastes almost the same as the plastic it’s wrapped in.
7. Fish Sticks
As a kid, I had fish sticks on the regular. And then one day they pulled a Keyser Söze and — poof!— like that, they were gone.
8. Crackers ‘N Cheese Dip
You could never get the cheese-to-cracker ratio right, so you were inevitably left scraping the cheese with the red plastic thing. And if you dropped that red thing your day was ruined, because how else would you spread your cheese dip?
9. Super sugary cereal
Now it’s all whole grain this and flaxseed that. Plus, Kashi doesn’t have toys in their boxes, so extra bummer.
OK, maybe you had a few cans in college, but you were probably drunk when you ate them so that doesn’t count.
11. Boxed mac and cheese with cut up hot dogs
So. Good. As a matter of fact, I know what I’m making for dinner tonight.
As an adult the words “jaw” and “break” should not be in any way associated with the food you are eating.
14. Individual fruit pies
These were more sugar than pie, but you were a kid and that was fine by you.
15. Fun Dip
More pure sugar but with the addition of a pure sugar dipping stick. This is like a speedball for children.
17. Little Debbie anything
OATMEAL. CREME. PIES. ::: faints from sugar memories :::
18. Kid Cuisine
Having Kid Cuisine for dinner was like getting the chef’s table at Le Cirque: basically the most baller thing you could do.
Remember when it was just Quik? Ah, the good old days of never quite mixing it enough and being surprised with chocolate dust bombs in your mouth.
20. Blow Pops and Tootsie Pops
Both were a dentist’s wet dream since they meant more cavities for you. Just pick your poison: gross gum in the middle or gross chocolate. How all kids don’t have false teeth is beyond me.
21. Mini box of raisins
Yes, I’m sure you’ve had raisins not too long ago, but when was the last time you opened up a tiny box of them? Fourth grade, that’s when.
22. Ants on a log
Why these aren’t appetizers at every party is beyond me, because they rocked as a kid and still do.
23. Wax bottles
The truly hardcore would pop the whole thing and chew on the wax as if it were chewing tobacco, which is a habit that is never too early to teach children.
24. Fast food kids’ meals
Just tell the cashier it’s for your “child” who “really, really wanted one.”