quiz

How Big Of A Dick Are You?

Well, are you? posted on

  1. 1. Do you like Nickelback?
    Jan Hetfleisch / Getty Images
    1. “How You Remind Me” is on repeat in my house. So, you tell me.
    2. Not really my cup of tea, but to each his own.
    3. Hell no! My musical choices are far superior, and anybody who thinks otherwise is stupid.
    4. Actually more a Creed fan, myself.
  2. 2. Could you be friends with this guy?
    Ethan Miller / Getty Images
    1. I am Spencer Pratt.
    2. Dude is my hero! He lives his life like a boss!
    3. Sure, why not? Probably has some fun stories.
    4. Hell no! What a loser.
  3. 3. You go on a date. Who pays?
    Disney / Via sasakitime.com
    1. I do, since I asked them out.
    2. My presence is payment enough.
    3. They insisted, even though I tried to pay. Next one is on me.
    4. Like my dad always said, “If you pay then they gotta lay.” LOL
  4. 4. Would you wear this?
    1. Was it a present? Then yes, don’t want to seem ungrateful.
    2. Guys who wear this are douchebags. I wouldn’t be caught dead in one.
    3. I’m more into Affliction stuff.
    4. TAPOOOOOOOOOOOOUT! *crushes Bud Light can on head*
  5. 5. Do you respond to missed calls and emails quickly?
    1. I’ll get to them when I’m damn good and ready.
    2. Yes, or as soon as I can. I’m sort of busy.
    3. Eh, fuck ‘em.
    4. Depends on if I owe the person money or not.
  6. 6. Do you hold the door open for people?
    1. What am I, a monster? Of course I do.
    2. If they have arms, they can open it themselves.
    3. Depends on how hot the person is.
    4. Nope. I also push the “close door” button on elevators when people are trying to get on.
  7. 7. How do you feel about gourmet food?
    1. Gross. Yuck. If it’s foreign I’m throwin’. Up. Throwing up.
    2. Love it. I’ll try anything once.
    3. I am a total foodie. Have you seen my Instagram?
    4. I’m actually really into probiotic-veganism right now. Can I tell you about it?
  8. 8. An asteroid is hurtling towards Earth and you have one last day. How do you spend it?
    Buena Vista Pictures / Via en.wikipedia.org
    1. With my friends and family enjoying the time we have left together.
    2. Drinking beer and watching porn.
    3. Trying to get laid by as many people as possible. I’m going out with a bang!
    4. Figuring out how to stop that damn asteroid. I have Radiohead tickets!
  9. 9. Your S.O. says "I love you" for the first time. What do you do?
    1. Say “I love you” back and kiss them passionately.
    2. Run away. You can’t cling to what you can’t catch.
    3. Explain that at this moment in time, you have a lot going on, and now isn’t the best time for “love,” and…
    4. Say “I know,” then get frozen in carbonite.
  10. 10. A random person across the street trips and falls. You:
    1. Laugh and yell, “Way to go, Einstein!” Even though that doesn’t make sense.
    2. Ask if they are OK, and proceed accordingly.
    3. Luckily you caught it on Vine. #epicfail
    4. Someone tripped? Sorry, I was too busy thinking about that Radiohead concert.

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