1. Expectation: You will ask someone to be your date
It looks so easy on TV. But then again, so does NASCAR racing.
2. Reality: This happens
On second thought, flying solo is cool, too. Han Solo, that is.
3. Expectation: Picking out the perfect outfit
“Yeah, I’m pretty much killin’ it.”
4. Reality: You didn’t get the memo
“I thought this was a costume dance? WHEN DID THEY CHANGE IT?”
5. Expectation: Walk in looking cool
Fog machine? Check.
7. Expectation: Everyone will love your new cologne
Just remember, a little goes a long way.
9. Expectation: Your parents are chaperoning the dance, but they’ll leave you alone
This is your night, not theirs.
10. Reality: They drive you crazy
If they snap one more picture or tell you to “go talk to that girl” one more time…
11. Expectation: You will mingle and not be awkward
“Act like a normal human being? I’m a human being so that should be a cinch!”
13. Expectation: Not being intimidated by the fact that most of the girls are taller than you
They had a growth spurt before you, so what?
15. Expectation: You will not get a boner
You got your boners under control, son.
16. Reality: You get an “A” for effort
Don’t worry, we all know how hard you tried.
17. Expectation: People noticing your awesome mustache
You’ve been cultivating that thing for awhile now.
20. Reality: You end up like this
Why didn’t your friends stop you? Wait, why are your friends laughing?
21. Expectation: You will ask another live human being to dance and it will be magical
What can go wrong? It’s just dancing, right?
24. Expectation: You’ll kiss your crush and it will go totally wrong
This is the point of no return. Good luck.