1. The Bitchy Receptionist
Well, excuuuuuse me for wanting to know if the Zumba class started! I see your game of Candy Crush is way more important than offering good customer service.
2. Señor Tiny Shorts
Surprise! He’s decided to do squats two inches from your face as you do the bench press. Good times!
3. Grizzled Old Guy
“What do you mean can you work in a set? Get off my incline press!”
4. Confused McGee
You’ve seen him; walking up to a machine only to be thoroughly baffled by how to use it. Not that you’re going to help him, though. You still have another few reps to go.
5. The Creep
Are they actually there to work out or just leer? Either way, they’ve been standing by the drinking fountain waaaaay too long.
6. The Full Make-Up Chick
Not that I’m complaining. At least she’s not…
7. The Jeans Wearer
You are not Marilyn Monroe, so, y’know, stop wearing jeans to the gym.
8. Mr. Perfect
Not to be confused with Curt Hennig (RIP), this dude lives to give other men body dysmorphia. Oh, and to bang Full Make-Up Chick.
9. The Monster
Unlike Mr. Perfect, you know you could never be this guy, or if you would even want to. Also, whatever concoction he keeps drinking out of his giant water bottle weirds you out.
10. The Overweight Trainer
“What? I’m here to train you, not the other way around. Now give me 20 and make it fast. I’ve got a Hot Pocket in the freezer and it’s calling my name.”
11. The Chatty Cathy
You tell ‘em, Skyler. BTW, when’s breakfast?
12. The Cellphone Douche
Bro, none of us care about your trip to the Bahamas, so stop talking so loudly about it, OK?
13. The Stinky Ghost
Who is it that smells so bad? The guy on the treadmill next to you? The lady on the row machine? Or is it… you?