22 Justifications For Your Love Of Canned Cranberry Sauce

Alternative? Vegan? Organic? Why?

1. If you’ve ever eaten Thanksgiving dinner, chances are you’ve seen or tasted this bad boy:

2. Impostors have tried to take it’s place, but you can’t be fooled.

What is that bowl of mush?

3. Look at that perfect cylindrical shape!

Don’t get me started on those ridges.

4. Each slice is a beautiful, perfect circle.

I’ll take three…

5. It’s soft and tender enough to scoop with cutlery…

…directly into your mouth!

6. …yet firm and hearty enough to gently lift with your fingers.

…also directly into your mouth.

7. Even when it’s not perfect, jellied cranberry will always be there for you.

Its okay buddy, I’ll still devour you…with love.

8. No Thanksgiving plate is complete without that iconic deep red tangy circle of bliss.

Classic.

9.

Classic-er.

10.

Classic-est.

11. Look at that pile mystery gunk. There’s just no contest.

Gross

12. Jellied cranberry doesn’t need to use garnish to convince people that it’s edible.

If you take away the fresh berries, this is a Halloween recipe.

13. It IS the garnish!

Majestic performance, cranberry. 10 points.

14. It will make your most hideous serving plates look like fine china.

Oh, its kitschy, I see now.

15. It will help you with your fractions.

What percentage of the cranberry can I eat before my grandma yells at me?

16. It will inspire you to create culinary works of art.

I call it, Ode to Thankfulness

17. Also, non-culinary works of art.

The best thing to slip out of a can since, well, cranberry sauce.

18. You don’t need expensive machines and hours of labor to get your cranberry fix.

That is cranberry, right?

19. It will never desert you.

Because you can buy in bulk.

20. But it could dessert you!

Ba-dum-chaa!

21. Oh, jellied cranberry…

You sweet thing.

22. Please never leave!

Haters gonna shut up and give love a chance!

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