1. Lainie: "I was really going to be somebody by the time I was 23."
2. Lainie: "You've been waiting for this since the day we met."
3. Vickie: "Lainie, sex is the quickest way to ruin a friendship."
4. Troy: "You can't navigate me. I may do mean things, and I may hurt you, and I may run away without your permission, and you may hate me forever, and I know that scares the living shit outta you 'cause you know I'm the only real thing you got."
5. Vickie: "Évian is "naïve" spelled backward."
6. Lainie: "I'm not a valedictorian but I play one on tv."
7. Vickie: "Sometimes I get that not-so-fresh feeling."
8. Troy: "This girl is cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs."
9. Lainie: "I'd like to somehow make a difference in people's lives."
10. Troy: "He's the reason Cliffs Notes were invented."
11. Lainie: "It's not like I had a hysterectomy. I just got fired."
12. Troy: "You look like a doily."
13. Lainie: "He's so cheesy, I can't watch him without crackers."
14. Vickie: "Sometimes I get that not-so-fresh feeling."
15. Troy: "I'm bursting with fruit flavor."
Velour shirts and '70s house dresses!
16. Lainie: "Hey! I'm a non-practicing virgin."
17. Vickie: "It's not like its happening to me. It's like it's in a crappy show like Melrose Place."
18. Michael: "Have I stepped over some line in the sands of coolness with you? Because excuse me if somebody doesn't know the secret handshake with you."
19. Troy: "I am not under orders to make the world a better place."
20. Vickie: "Welcome to the Maxi Pad."
21. Lainie: "You guys better not be inhaling."
22. Vickie: "I'm late for a jean-folding seminar. Let's locomote!"
23. Troy: "You have reached the winter of our discontent."
