2. Your jeans are designed with pockets you can actually put stuff in.
Women’s jeans? THE POCKETS ARE SO SMALL!
3. Your jeans always fit in the butt.
Women’s jeans are made for a body that seemingly does not exist.
7. You’ve never experienced the unique joy of thongs. Ever.
12. Plus, you get to wear bow ties with those tuxes.
Bow ties! The BEST.
13. But don’t feel like dressing up? Your standard jeans-and-tee outfit always works.
14. And more formal events are easily solved with a blazer and tie.
15. Your pants are determined by separate waist and inseam measurements.
Women’s pants are given arbitrary sizes. What does a size 7/8 even mean???
16. You wear basketball shorts like it’s no big deal.
And you can wear ‘em out and about without being accused of being a scrub.
18. You never have to contend with makeup.
Isn’t it strange that we’ve evolved culturally so that it’s socially acceptable that women wear makeup but men don’t? How’d that happen?
20. Or losing an earring.
WHERE DO THEY ALL GO? (Island of Missing Earrings.)