1. “Rich Friends”
Used to mean: An elite group of acquaintances who make you feel a little bad about your own personal finances and overall success.
Now means: FREE WEEKEND AT THE HAMPTONS!!!
Used to mean: Tiny canned fruit preserves.
Now means: The songs you can’t live without for the next three months (see: “Problem”, “Chandelier” and “Fancy”.)
Used to mean: The people you feel comfortable having around if you’re in a large body of water and your leg suddenly cramps up or something.
Now means: A mysteriously attractive and physically superior portion of the population that. You. Can’t. Stop. STARING. AT.
Used to mean: A mythical land that possibly exists beyond your apartment walls. Maybe. Who can really say?
Now means: The spectacular thing that makes you question all the time you spent binge-watching Netflix shows in a snuggie.
Used to mean: Something you dreaded looking at for fear of rain, or, if you lived in the East Coast this year, snowstorms on top of more snowstorms.
Now means: Beautiful, 87-degree consistency.
6. “Flip Flops”
Used to mean: Footwear you wouldn’t be caught dead in.
Now means: But…they’re so convenient!
Used to mean: H2O, or the chemical compound that is necessary for all life as we know it.
Now means: LITERALLY EVERYTHING. YOU WILL NEVER LET IT GO.
8. “Iced Tea”
Used to mean: A chilled, sweetened drink of tea and possibly other flavoring.
Now means: Remember when you thought water was the essence of life? You were wrong. THIS IS THE ESSENCE OF LIFE.
Used to mean: The release of a salty liquid from your glands when you exercise, or are a little nervous.
Now means: The absolute bane of your existence.
Used to mean: Something really bad for your skin but luckily an occurrence that only ever happens to other, dumb people who don’t wear sunscreen.
Now means: GODDAMMIT, NOOOOOO
Used to mean: A flattering golden hue.
Now means: A standard you desperately try to live up to, but always mess up because a.) you thought wearing a t-shirt was a good idea or b) your skin cannot compromise between “ghost white” and “fire engine red”.
12. “Ice cream”
Used to mean: A frozen dairy treat!
Now means: Your entire diet.
Used to mean: Cut-off jean shorts you’re not sure how to feel about.
Now means: A way of life.
Used to mean: How you get to work every morning and the subject of at least five minutes of daily conversation.
Now means: The hellish experience that involves bare thighs uncomfortably sticking to leather car seats and plastic subway benches.
15. “Heat Wave”
Used to mean: Something you daresay wish for when shoveling 6 inches worth of snow from your driveway.
Now means: The very thing that will end you.
Used to mean: An artificial, heavily-chlorinated body of water shared by the community or in a rich person’s backyard.
Now means: Something you may have strong opinions about (re: kids peeing in the water) but that you probably will run to the first chance you get.
Used to mean: A peaceful sandy shore surrounded by salt water.
Now means: A place you are willing to travel 2+ hours for and have high expectations for every time, despite always worrying about parking spots, blanket spots, and seagull poop.
Used to mean: A pale brown granular substance typically found on beaches and in deserts.
Now means: The nightmare that is haunting your hair, clothes, purse…and possibly butt.
Used to mean: A two-piece swimsuit.
Now means: A word you keep hearing in conjunction with “body”, “diet” and “season”, to a maddening degree.
Used to mean: An app on your phone that you use once in a while to document the events in your life in a pretty way.
Now means: An app on your phone that you’ll never stop using because OMG EVERYTHING IS SO IDYLLIC AND SERENE AND NEEDS THE “SIERRA” FILTER.
21. “Mosquito Bites”
Used to mean: The itchy aftermath of a small, blood-sucking insect coming in contact with your skin.
Now means: A grave injustice that you rant about frequently because WHY WHY WHY do mosquitos have to exist? (Like spiders make sense because they kill flies but literally what good do mosquitos do???)
Used to mean: Something you do holed up in your room or a tiny cafe.
Now means: Something you do in the glory that is THE SUN, making you indescribably happy.