1. You plan where you go out entirely around where you want to eat.
2. And you keep an eye on the clock so you don’t get to your restaurant of choice after closing time.
3. With every shot you take, you think of all the carbs you’ll need to soak all that alcohol up.
4. You subtly hint at how good an end-of-night food mission would be, to plant the idea in your friends’ heads.
6. But, when all else fails, you are willing to go in it alone.
7. You have a way better time if there’s a burger to go with your beer.
9. And you are always a little disappointed when you attend a birthday party and you get a free shot instead of cake :(
10. You’ve done some serious bonding at 3 a.m. diner excursions.
The only things worth staying up that late for are breakfast foods.
11. And your most treasured memories of nights out involve excitedly waiting in line for ALL THE FOOD.
12. The highlight of the night is, always, hands down, the moment you drunkenly roll into bed with a sandwich.
13. If you had to choose between getting laid and that sandwich, you’d pick the sandwich almost every time.
(OK, every time.)
14. Honestly, you often eat so much food that you fully become sober.
Now you’re just in a food coma.
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