1. Flowers in the Attic (2014)
Why you should watch it: The original, despite doing well at the box office, was a total flop. So why remake a disaster? Better question: WHY NOT?
2. Theodore Rex (1995)
Why you should watch it: A buddy cop movie starring Whoopi Goldberg and a T. rex, how could you refuse?
3. Showgirls (1995)
Why you should watch it: If you’re looking for a flick with an excessively moody protagonist, an unforgettable pool sex scene, and more nudity than you could ever want, Showgirls delivers.
4. Gigli (2003)
Why you should watch it: Because even Christopher Walken and Ben Affleck make mistakes, and that is inspiring.
5. The Wicker Man (2006)
Why you should watch it: It’ll help you better understand why everyone is obsessed with Nic Cage, and will make YOU obsessed with Nic Cage.
6. Deep Blue Sea (1999)
Why you should watch it: Not to be confused with the 2011 romantic drama starring Rachel Weisz, this movie is what happens when scientists genetically alter sharks’ brains to make them bigger (so they could extract the tissue as a cure for Alzheimer’s), which leads to the sharks becoming geniuses and coming up with crafty ways to kill the scientists, such as using a person as a battering ram to break an otherwise solid tank.
…Also, LL Cool J made a music video for the film.
7. Anaconda (1997)
Why you should watch it: Because in what other universe would Jon Voight, Jennifer Lopez, Ice Cube, Owen Wilson, and Danny Trejo be in the same place, wrestling anacondas, of all things?
8. Liz and Dick (2012)
Why you should watch it: The concept had so much potential, but with the acting, bizarre dialogue, and oddball makeup (Lindsay as older Elizabeth Taylor, LOL), it was a cocktail of sheer catastrophe (and a delightful one at that).
9. Birdemic: Shock and Terror (2010)
Why you should watch it: It’s just like Hitchhock’s The Birds, only with vulture GIFs, a strong anti-global warming message, and a minute-long scene of people clapping.
10. Julie and Jack (2003)
Why you should watch it: By the same director of Birdemic, but just a love story! With no discernible conflict!
11. The Apple (1980)
Why you should watch it: A dystopian rock musical about the evils of the modern music industry. Of course.
12. The Canyons (2013)
Why you should watch it: It’s a mystery how the collective writers behind Taxi Driver and American Psycho could produce a film so painfully awkward, but it was accomplished. Add a disheveled-looking Lindsay Lohan and James Deen making his non-porn (eh, sort of) feature film debut, and voilà!
13. Another 9 1/2 Weeks (1997)
Why you should watch it: This is really just “Mickey Rourke is 10 years older and having the same four types of sex with a new redheaded lady.”
14. CyberBully (2011)
Why you should watch it: Cyberbullying is of course nothing to joke about, and it’s good that people care enough to try to make a film about the subject. Weirdly, though, this movie isn’t realistic in the least. Cyberbullying is a more subtle form of antagonization, as in, people don’t just casually write “ur a whor w/ herpes” on your Facebook wall or film themselves wearing a creepy cardboard mask of your face (or do they??).
15. Dirty Teacher (2013)
Why you should watch it: Another Lifetime gem involving a (you guessed it) “dirty” teacher who sleeps with her student and then runs him over with her car and frames his girlfriend for the murder. It’s a serious problem in our society, guys.
16. Troll 2 (1990)
Why you should watch it: Ah, yes. The movie that isn’t actually a sequel to anything or even involves trolls (the antagonists are actually goblins). There was also a documentary made by the little boy who starred in this batshit crazy film, and it’s actually quite good.
17. The Room (2003)
Why you should watch it: The one film to rule them all. This work of beauty is shrouded in mystery from its $6 million budget to the unrevealed nationality of its star/director/writer/producer, so much so that a book was written about it. Watch it and worship it.