"Doctor Who" As Told By Someone Who’s Never Seen It

More like Doctor “Huh? What? What’s going on?”

1. Doctor Who is a sassy Englishman who’s been traveling through time for 50something years.

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2. His face is always changing because he has magical powers and is also really damn indecisive — a dangerous combo.

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3. He also uses his magic powers to make himself younger. He may be Benjamin Button, also.

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4. When he visited NYC, he ended up having one too many at a bar in Brooklyn…

The Way Station, where all the drama started.

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5. And accidentally activated the world’s greatest port-o-potty, which is also a time machine.

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And, still a bit tipsy, he invented some interesting catchphrases.

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6. He goes by Doctor Who because when he landed, he was so confused about who he was that he simply said “who?” and the embarrassing nickname stuck.


He later added “doctor” to regain some level of authority.

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7. He has no idea how to get back to where he came from and has been traveling through space and time just by pushing random buttons.

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8. Sometimes he gets himself into pickles and almost dies.


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9. Most times though, he’s just being silly and wearing period clothes.


Because if he’s going to be stuck in time and space for all eternity, why not be stylish?

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10. Doctor Who gets bored a lot, despite being a time traveler. As a result, he’s totally redone the phone booth bathroom to make it more spacious.

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This show is about the world’s most gifted interior designer.

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11. He also made a clone of himself and hangs out with it because he needs a friend and what better friend is there than yourself?

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12. They just goof around and like to pretend their remote controls are magic wands so they can play “Harry Potter”.

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And they always fight about who gets to be Ron and who gets to be Harry.

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13. Ladies also love the doctor. That’s also why he changes his appearance so often — he’s always trying to impress a girl.


WHAT a player.

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14. He likes the movie Saturday Night Fever. Like, a lot.

BBC/Doctor Who

Paramount Pictures/Saturday Night Fever

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15. But, most importantly, Doctor Who is an endearing bloke with fun witticisms, a thirst for adventure and some touching quotes.

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16. And this show is probably worth watching.

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