Why Does North Korea Want To Bomb Austin?

America’s weirdest city is on Kim Jong-un’s targets map. Speculate within! posted on

1. Could it be because …?

No one wants to be second weirdest. #whyaustin" target="_blank">http://twitter.com/search?q=%23whyaustin">#whyaustin

It takes weird to bomb weird. #whyaustin" target="_blank">http://twitter.com/search?q=%23whyaustin">#whyaustin

3. Or maybe …

Kim Jong-un must not like Austin's new plastic bag policy. #whyaustin" target="_blank">http://twitter.com/search?q=%23whyaustin">#whyaustin

4. Burn zone!

Houston seemed too ambitious. #whyaustin" target="_blank">http://twitter.com/search?q=%23whyaustin">#whyaustin

Because Houston shoots back. #whyaustin" target="_blank">http://twitter.com/search?q=%23whyaustin">#whyaustin

6. Actually, it probably has something to do with …

Un naturally hates anything South by Southwest. #whyaustin" target="_blank">http://twitter.com/search?q=%23whyaustin">#whyaustin

Kim Jong Un and North Korea have had enough of #SXSW" target="_blank">http://twitter.com/search?q=%23SXSW">#SXSW tweets #whyaustin" target="_blank">http://twitter.com/search?q=%23whyaustin">#whyaustin

Kim Jong-un's startup flopped at SXSW Interactive. #whyaustin." target="_blank">http://twitter.com/search?q=%23whyaustin">#whyaustin.

Kim Jong-un wasn't invited to any of the good SXSW parties. #whyaustin" target="_blank">http://twitter.com/search?q=%23whyaustin">#whyaustin

Kim couldn't get a wristband to @jtimberlake's" target="_blank">http://twitter.com/jtimberlake">@jtimberlake's secret show. #whyaustin" target="_blank">http://twitter.com/search?q=%23whyaustin">#whyaustin

11. Then again, he could be lashing out against Austin-bred entertainment …

Because Kim is still annoyed by "Slacker." #whyaustin" target="_blank">http://twitter.com/search?q=%23whyaustin">#whyaustin

Because "Friday Night Lights" ended its run and NOBODY puts Connie Britton into a corner. #whyaustin" target="_blank">http://twitter.com/search?q=%23whyaustin">#whyaustin

13. or the city’s fine establishments …

Kim Jong-un still mad about being kicked out of Alamo Drafthouse for texting. #whyaustin" target="_blank">http://twitter.com/search?q=%23whyaustin">#whyaustin

#WhyAustin" target="_blank">http://twitter.com/search?q=%23WhyAustin">#WhyAustin - Kim Jong Un is pissed that nobody would dance with him at The Broken Spoke.

Because Stubb's BBQ won't deliver to Pyongyang. #WhyAustin" target="_blank">http://twitter.com/search?q=%23WhyAustin">#WhyAustin

Kim Jong-un totally lost it when he couldn't find parking at downtown Whole Foods. #whyaustin" target="_blank">http://twitter.com/search?q=%23whyaustin">#whyaustin youtube.com/watch?v=2UFc1p…" target="_blank">http://t.co/ni0HmoGADN">youtube.com/watch?v=2UFc1p…

17. its flailing sports teams …

Kim Jong-un was not impressed with UT's football and basketball seasons. #whyaustin" target="_blank">http://twitter.com/search?q=%23whyaustin">#whyaustin

18. scandalous local parks …

Kim's Jong-un poorly received at Hippy Hollow. #whyaustin" target="_blank">http://twitter.com/search?q=%23whyaustin">#whyaustin

19. … or spicy cuisine.

Kim Jong-un the victim of horrible mistranslation of Austin Nuclear Tacos recipes. #whyaustin" target="_blank">http://twitter.com/search?q=%23whyaustin">#whyaustin

20. But in all likelihood:

Kim Jong-un just wants to trend on twitter. The whole war is a front. #whyaustin" target="_blank">http://twitter.com/search?q=%23whyaustin">#whyaustin

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