I love this so much. You can almost imagine the clerk coming into work, tossing his bag onto the counter, and ignoring the pleasantries from his coworkers. “Hey Charlie, good night?” “Morning, Charlie.” Not now. Not when I have truth to defend.
“Where are those blank stickers?!” And then the sharpie of justice came down and branded Lance Armstrong forever. A photo was taken to commemorate the occasion. High fives were thrown all around. It was uploaded to Reddit, so that the world would know of this most epic of literary burns. Then all the clerks stood around for a long moment, before one of them reminded Charlie it was his turn to do inventory, and he really should go do that.
- At least one member of Ukraine's National Guard has died and about 90 people were injured after protesters clashed with police outside of Parliament in Ukraine. ›
- Lawyers for the NFL and New England Patriots quarterback Tom Brady failed to reach a settlement in the deflategate case. A decision is expected by Friday. ›
- Thai police have issued two new arrest warrants as the search widens for the suspects behind Bangkok's deadly shrine bombing. ›