10 Things More Exciting Than Mitt Romney’s Presidential Candidacy

Now that Chris Christie has decided against running, Mitt Romney seems like the Republican front-runner! Hurray! What’s that? Not really excited? Well maybe you should consider some of these things instead.

1. Watching Grass Grow

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2. Watching Paint Dry

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3. Waiting For A Pot Of Water To Boil

That’s right, and this video has the words “Now We’re Boiling!” in it. With an exclamation point and everything. Still more exciting than Mitt.

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4. Getting A Root Canal

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5. Spending A Week With Your In-Laws

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6. Reading Michele Bachmann’s Book

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7. Cleaning Up Dog Shit

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8. Listening To A Lecture Co-Given By Michael Dukakis And Al Gore

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9. Dealing With A Post-Coital Anal Froth Situation

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10. The Candidacy Of Herman Cain

And he quotes Pokémon in his speeches.

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