The Cleveland Browns are 1-5. This weekend they lost to a very mediocre Colts team, and even though they kept the game close, no Browns fan on the planet ever felt like their team was going to actually pull it out. Why? Because they’re the fucking Cleveland Browns.
Since the team’s return to Cleveland in 1999, their best head coach BY FAR was Butch Davis, who had a lowly .414 winning percentage. To put that number in context, in the 49 years the Browns were in Cleveland before moving to Baltimore at the end of 1995, the worst winning percentage a full-time coach ever had was .439. That’s right. The coach with the worst winning percentage in the history of the old Browns was better than the coach with the best winning percentage in the history of the new Browns. This is all to say, there is nothing sadder than rooting for that team from Cleveland. I know, I do it every Sunday. Here’s some proof from Sunday’s game.
2. After scoring a touchdown in the second quarter, the Browns should have been able to kick an extra point to tie the game. Should have…
3. A botched hold led to the rare blown extra point, and kept the Browns behind.
4. Here’s what it felt like to watch that…
5. Later in the game Pat Shurmur decided to call timeout on 4th and 1 (presumably to set up a play), only to decide to punt. Thus wasting a valuable timeout that would have been helpful at the game’s end.
6. What did newly minted Browns owner Jimmy Haslam think of that?
7. The most disappointing play of the game came when Josh Gordon dropped a sure touchdown pass that would have given the Browns the lead.
8. In that moment all Browns fans felt like Brandon Weeden did.
9. So Jimmy Haslam, confessed Steeler fan, how do you like your first official foray into Browns football?
10. We know how you feel.
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I watch the Browns, Cavaliers, and the Indians, it’s pretty much always disappointing. Most people hate LeBron, and I certainly dislike the way he went about leaving, but you rarely hear about Modell anymore. Truth is, you can’t blame him either. If the city would have given him a new stadium to replace the horribly collapsing Municipal Gield, he would’ve stayed. Cleveland really is the “Factory of Sadness”.
That’s it in a nutshell. Add in the fact that ESPN just aired an entire documentary about the Browns being ripped from Cleveland and then winning a Super Bowl in Baltimore (in addition to their usual schedule of humiliating Cleveland programming) and it’s been a lead gauntlet punch to the giblets year to be from Cleveland.
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