If you have ever watched European soccer and thought to yourself, “If only American team sports could let me watch amazing athletes and continuously think about Vodafone,” then you better put on some looser pants, because good times are coming your way. At yesterday’s NBA Board of Governors meeting in Las Vegas, the league approved a plan that would bring small advertising patches to the shoulders of all NBA jerseys for the 2013-2014 season. Deputy commissioner Adam Silver, who’s in charge of the initiative, has said that he hopes the addition of the patches could raise as much as $100 million in additional revenue.
Now there’s still technically a chance that this will be rejected by the league’s owners when it comes to a vote, but there’s also still technically a chance that Kobe Bryant will be given a key to the city of Boston later this year. I have my doubts about both. Silver has said that there is not a single owner that’s opposed to the idea. Not even Dan Gilbert and his Comic Sans letters of truth seem to be willing to defend the purity of the uniforms.
And if you thought you could escape the horror of the patch* at your local Dick’s Sporting Goods, you’re sadly mistaken. All replica jerseys will also become walking billboards. This is one reason why the league is taking a full-year lead time with the project. Adidas has to have time to make a shit-ton (actual scientific weight) of new jerseys. So get ready, America. Soon when you put on your jersey, you’ll be supporting both the Rockets and Johnny Rockets.
*Coincidentally Horror Of The Patch is a spec script I wrote in college about a nicotine patch that slowly takes over the person wearing it. It was quite the erotic thriller.