The Many Faces Of Alex Rodriguez’s Disastrous October

It’s been a rough post-season for the highest paid player in the history of baseball.

1. The “My playoff batting average is whaaaat?” Face

.130 Alex. It’s .130.

Image by Adam Hunger / Reuters

2. The “No, I’m totally happy for you Raúl. I love when people pinch-hit for me and hit home runs.” Face

Image by Associated Press / AP

3. The “What part am I supposed to hold again?” Face

Image by Al Bello / Getty Images

4. The “How do people make their faces look sad? Like this? ” Face

Image by Matt Slocum / AP

5. The “I’m embarrassed” Face

Image by Alex Trautwig / Getty Images

6. The “I make kissing faces when I’m embarrassed” Face

Image by Adam Hunger / Reuters

7. The “Don’t make me go back out there. Nothing good happens when I’m out there” Face

Image by Adam Hunger / Reuters

8. The “Show some emotion so he knows you’re mad he benched you, but not so much he’ll make you play” Face

Image by Kathy Willens / AP

9. The “Fuck you, Mr. Bat. It’s all your fault” Face

Image by Elsa / Getty Images

10. The “I can’t believe Derek is actually going to acknowledge my existence!” Face

Image by Mike Segar / Reuters

11. The “I was only like a foot, a foot and a half off” Face

Image by Ray Stubblebine / Reuters

12. The “Oh we were fist-bumping?” Face

Image by Associated Press / AP

13. The “I’m so excited I just hit into a fielder’s choice” Face

No seriously. This photo was taken right after A-Rod hit into a fielder’s choice. He’s happy about a fielder’s choice. This is how far he’s fallen. He’s just happy to get on base.

Image by Getty Images / Getty Images

14. The “I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I miss Texas” Face

Image by Associated Press / AP

15. The “Oh wait, I make $29 Million a year and still have FIVE YEARS left on my contract. Who cares how we do?” Face

Image by Getty Images / Getty Images