The Greatest Hits Of The Hulk Hogan Sex Tape

This one will kick you right in the childhood. WARNING: We’ve scrubbed the naughtiest bits, but salty language ahoy!

1. First, a third party is in the room at the beginning of the tape.

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2. But he excuses himself to leave Hulk and (presumably the mystery man’s wife) to their business.

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3. The two begin to get comfortable but then Hulk’s phone rings. His ringtone is a song by his daughter Brooke called “About Us.”

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4. He doesn’t like whose name pops up on the caller ID, and ignores the call.

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5. Then they have sex, which Hulk is reportedly good at.

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6. As soon as they’re done Hulk admits to not feeling great.

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7. Hulk puts his “Bubba” shirt back on. It’s rumored that this woman may be the ex-wife of radio DJ Bubba The Love Sponge.

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8. But despite having sex with a beautiful woman, the Hulkster won’t stop comparing himself to a pig.

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9. Then he said this, which could mean, “boy, that was fun,” but with all the “pig” talk probably means, “I feel like I’m about to puke.”

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10. But lest you think Hulk has lost it, he launches into this epic story about the twin sister of a young lady his son Nick is dating.

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19. Hulk’s not bragging! He’s just can’t believe it happened!

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20. Hulk Hogan, you now have a sex tape, which means you are a REAL AMERICAN.

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