Pee-wee Herman’s Christmas Photos Tell The Story Of Chattering Teeth And Dinosaur

Pee-wee received two gifts from Reddit’s secret santa and decided they needed to go on an adventure through LA. This is what happened. (All captions by Pee-wee.)

“No Christmas wreath is complete without a dinosaur and chattering teeth. That rhymes! I’m a poet and I didn’t know it!”

“The name Paul means “small, humble.” Ironically, Pee-wee means the same thing.”

“OMG!!! Something’s gone wrong with the Jurassic Park ride. It looks like… yes, no, yes!!!! Dinosaurs are OMG!!! Something’s gone wrong with the Jurassic Park ride. It looks like… yes, no, yes!!!! Dinosaurs are attacking Hollywood Boulevard!!! Run! Run! Run…. Why is everyone just standing there? Can’t you see you’re about to be eaten alive by dinosaurs? Why isn’t anyone listening? What’s wrong with you people? AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!”

“Best Writer. Best Secretary. Best Dancer. Where’s Best dentist and Best paleontologist? They just don’t make good fake awards these days.”

“Teeth: ‘I never sausage a big piece of pizza. Get it? Sausage?’
Dinosaur: ‘So funny I forgot to laugh, Teeth.’”

“I’m sixty-five million years old. I think that qualifies me for a senior citizen discount.”

“Who would have ever thought The Muppets would be huge again? I can’t think of anyone else who was big in the 80’s to have such a profound comeback. Isn’t nice when things that were totally out of fashion, become in fashion again?”

“Teeth: ‘I hear motorcycles burn less fossil fuels.’
Dinosaur: ‘You had to go there.’”

“Teeth: ‘Do you think I’d look better as a brunette or a blonde?’

Dinosaur: ‘Brunette. It will bring out the white in your teeth.’

Teeth: ‘But blondes have more fun.’

Dinosaur: ‘Teeth, I don’t have patience for this.’”

“Teeth: ‘Wow. You know you made it when you get one of these.’

Dinosaur: ‘Who is this guy?’”

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