1. LeBron James Sings “Super Freak”
King James donned a wig and busted out a performance of the Rick James hit, but how was it?
• LeBron was the first to acknowledge his weaknesses as a performer and bring fake hair to the table. Accounting for that hairline? That’s a clutch move.
• The way James threw himself into the delivery of the word “kinky.” He sounds like a kid saying a word he knows he’s not supposed to. That’s a kind of charm you can’t teach.
• He drops the mic and the hair and walks off. That’s a strong finish.
• Anyone who knows LeBron’s game, knows Lebron loves to dance. He doesn’t fully let himself go here. He only shows hints of his promise… You know like Harrison Barnes in the tournament.
• He breaks character towards the end and starts talking about his nose. It’s unclear what he’s saying, but it sounds like a highlarious cocaine joke. Typically I’d support this kind of tomfoolery, but unless you have an absolutely killer joke, you shouldn’t interrupt something as serious as karaoke.
3. Shane Battier Sings “Eye Of The Tiger”
The host of the event led the show off in dramatic fashion with “Eye of the Tiger.” Was it appropriately epic?
• Miami Vice suit.
• Fantastic wig that puts all other wigs (*ahem* LeBron *ahem*) to shame.
• The kind of commitment that only a veteran like Battier can bring.
• Does push-ups while performing.
• He’s a terrible singer, but goes so over the top that it becomes this weird, amazing performance art.
• He is a terrible singer, but who cares. There’s a reason the show was called “Battioke.”