Last night, LeBron James couldn’t sleep. I don’t know if it’s a good thing or not that I know that, but thanks to Twitter, I know that LeBron was the only person at his house awake last night. And after initially dealing with his insomnia by unpacking his bags and opening some packages that had come for him (seriously, do we need this much access to celebrities and athletes?), he decided to open his Twitter feed up for questions.
Most of them were the typical, boring questions we’ve grown to expect guys like LeBron to answer, but two stood out.
The first was, “Where did your hairline go?” Now that he’s silenced all of those fourth quarter and “Lord of No Rings” jokes, the only consistent laugh people are getting at LeBron’s expense is at his quickly vanishing hairline. So it was fun to see LeBron join in. Well, as fun as watching a multi-millionaire with insomnia answer boring tweet questions can be. Says the king, “Man I have no idea! If u find it, let me know and we’ll go pick it up 2gether.” Well played LeBron.
The other fun question should immediately put the gears of Hollywood in motion.
I say this as a LeBron hater (Cleveland born and raised), but this guy was born to hang out with Bugs Bunny. LeBron is naturally charming and charismatic in a way that Jordan never was. Jordan was engaging and intense, but LeBron is actually funny. (See his ESPY hosting job, for example — can you ever imagine Jordan letting himself be the joke like this?) So someone better have a sequel idea ready.
What’s that? Do I have an idea? If you really want to know—
The Monstars return to Bugs Bunny’s world, again playing basketball and hoping to enslave the Looney Tunes characters. Bugs goes to the Nike gym where LeBron is working out to convince him to come help. Michael Jordan, also at Nike, sees this and, thanks to his crazy competitive streak, gets offended that Bugs didn’t ask him. So he follows Bugs and LBJ down the rabbit hole (literally) hoping that the benefits of toon world will allow him to play like he’s 25 again — after all, he was able to stretch across the whole court last time. Plus, if it works, he’ll never have to see the Bobcats again, so win-win. Once down there, MJ teams up with the Monstars to help try to defeat LeBron and prove he’s still the best of all time. We finally get to see LeBron and Jordan go toe to toe at the height of their powers. LeBron wins, and Jordan learns that it’s okay to grow old.
Maybe Kobe shows up too, but nobody wants to play with him. I don’t know. I’m still working it out.