2. So let’s give this some critical thought. Really break down the theory and the possible scenarios under which it could be true. Is Joe Paterno secretly still alive?
3. But maybe he faked his death.
4. So you mean he’s not hiding out in the “heart of Nittany Lion country”?
5. Come on, we should give this theory some real thought, right?
6. Okay, can I ask just one more question about it?
There you have it. Joe Paterno is dead. Still.
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