How To Take An Awesome Yearbook Photo: A Guide By Famous Athletes

No one can escape the embarrassment (or occasional triumph) of the yearbook photo.

1. Have a kick-ass haircut.

Brandi Chastain

2. For instance a mullet.

Jim Thome

3. Or a jheri curl.

Ken Griffey Jr.

4. Or a flat-top.

Joe Namath

5. Or a buzz cut.

Aaron Rodgers

6. Or an afro.

Charles Barkley

7. Just not whatever Larry Bird has going on here.

Larry Bird

8. Awesome facial hair is a plus.

Rafael Palmeiro

9. Can’t grow facial hair? Just smirk.

Greg Maddux

10. Nope. Too angry, Patrick.

Patrick Ewing

11. Mickey, didn’t you hear what I said to Patrick? Chill out.

Mickey Mantle

12. Yeah, just like that.

Chris Evert

13. Having a cool-guy collar helps too.

John Stockton

14. Or fancy glasses.

Fred McGriff

15. Rock a skinny tie.

Scottie Pippen

16. Or a hoodie.

Tiger Woods

17. Or a great tux.

Gary Payton

18. Or a frilly shirt.

Roger Clemens

19. But never wear a shirt that looks like Bill Cosby designed it.

Kobe Bryant

20. If you can somehow combine a jheri curl, a mustache, a frilly shirt, and a great tux, you’re doing something right.

Barry Bonds

21. Pose with a bitchin’ computer.

Derek Jeter

22. Don’t look too high.

Dennis Rodman

23. Maybe don’t look high at all.

Paul Pierce

24. Try not to look like a dork.

Philip Rivers

25. Eat some McDonald’s cookies in your photo.

David Robinson

26. Have a twin brother, so you can mess with people.

José Canseco

27. Look badass playing a sport you’ll be famous for.

Shawn Kemp

Rafael Palmeiro

Gary Payton

Larry Bird

José Canseco

Jim Thome

Roger Clemens

28. Look goofy playing a sport you’re not famous for.

Roger Maris

29. Have a great yearbook quote.

Mark McGwire

Quote: “Life is like a rollercoaster with it’s ups and downs, just sit back and enjoy the ride.”

30. For that matter have a really dumb yearbook quote. Either extreme is fine.

Tom Brady

31. Walk around your high school gym like its a club.

CC Sabathia

32. Have a cute date.

Magic Johnson

33. Hold public office.

Joe Montana

34. Make sure to button your shirt correctly.

Carmelo Anthony

35. And that your necklace doesn’t look stupid.

Chris Paul

36. Graduating always makes for a good picture.

LeBron James

37. Be the most adorable American athlete in the history of the Olympics.

Mary Lou Retton

38. Or be the greatest athlete of all time.

Michael Jordan

39. Or just be Jeremy Lin.

Jeremy Lin.

Isn’t he adorable?