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How To Be A Crappy Boyfriend

What not to do.

1. Step One: Take your girlfriend to a baseball game.

Ralph D. Freso / Reuters

2. Step Two: Wait for a major leaguer (Pete Kozma for instance) to hit a home run right at you.

3. Step Three: When the ball is flying directly at your girlfriend, run away.

4. Like, just back away from her. Don’t even try to protect her at all, and let it hit her right in the face.

5. Step Four: When the stadium staff comes to check on her, just pat her on the head.

As one of the announcers said sarcastically, “Nice going, boyfriend.”

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