Hey Let’s Watch The Red Sox Eat Each Other

It’s like The Hunger Games, but without all that nagging guilt. Feel free to enjoy the carnage. posted on

Some men just want to watch Fenway burn… Jim Rogash / Getty Images

If you had April 15th in the “When Will Bobby Valentine Begin To Lose The Red Sox Clubhouse” pool, you almost certainly have a gambling problem and probably shouldn’t be wasting your money betting on such specific things. But you’d also be owed some money right now, so who am I to judge your life choices?

Before yesterday’s game Bobby Valentine talked to reporters about Kevin Youkilis’ slow start.

“I don’t think he’s as physically or emotionally into the game as he has been in the past for some reason,” Valentine said Sunday. “But [on Saturday] it seemed, you know, he’s seeing the ball well, got those two walks, got his on-base percentage up higher than his batting average, which is always a good thing, and he’ll move on from there.”

Hey Bobby, word of advice, you probably shouldn’t be calling out beloved veterans for not being physically or emotionally invested after only eight games unless they are literally falling asleep in the field. And Manny Ramirez proved you can have a totally successful career in Boston doing just that.

Sox captain, and man who most definitely does not have small-man syndrome, Dustin Pedroia wasn’t going to let his new manager get away with attacking one of his guys.

“I really don’t know what Bobby is trying to do. That’s not the way we go about our stuff around here. He’ll figure that out. The whole team is behind Youk. We have each other’s backs here.”

Pedroia added, “Maybe that works in Japan.”

(ESPN describes that last quote as “referring to to Valentine’s successful stints as a manager in that country.” Which is a totally accurate description of what Pedroia was doing, if by “referring to” they meant “pissing on” while listening to Dropkick Murphys, eating Dunkin Donuts, and watching “The Town.”)

Youkilis apparently met with Valentine to discuss the quote, at which time the Red Sox manager took the opportunity to apologize. But he went on to tell the media, “I don’t know if he accepted my apology. It was sincere.”

Well Bobby, it doesn’t sound like he accepted your apology. Actually, the fact that you apologized face to face, and still aren’t sure how he feels about it sounds like a bad sign. Either one of your stars hasn’t forgiven you, or you can’t read basic social cues. Neither is ideal.

The best part of this whole disaster is that rather than just apologize, Bobby also had to take a slight shot at the media claiming that the reason he misspoke was because it “seemed like the question was jabbing at him.” And Bobby was just “trying to smooth it over.”

So if you’re keeping score at home, we are eight games into the season and Bobby V has offended his star third baseman, pissed off his star second baseman and captain, and found a way to poke the terrifying bear that is the Boston media. Ladies and gentlemen, your 2012 Boston Red Sox: What The Mayans Were Actually Predicting.

Quotes via ESPN.

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