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Dumb Coupon For Dumb Women Who Want Attention From Their Dumb Husbands

If you’ve reached this point in your relationship, you no longer have a relationship.

Coupons For My Lover is a website that allows you to create coupons to give to your significant other to pretend you don’t think about other people while having sex spice up your romance.

As you probably know, we’re in the middle of the NFL playoffs so men are all, “I can’t watch sports and also have a healthy relationship, because I’m basically an ape.” And women are all, “He’s not paying attention to me! If only there was some website that let me show him I’d be willing to give him a begrudging blowie if he pretended to listen to my problems.”

The Sacramento Bee, Hector Amezcua / AP

Enter Coupons For My Lover with the worst $5.95 you’ll ever spend an inexpensive coupon that is sure to make your husband realize that your love is definitely dead, because you just became “love coupon” people bring that elusive spark back. Fuck you Thanks Coupons For My Lover!

And yes, despite the fact that this is for your football-loving significant other, that says “Halftime Home Run.” Why? Because if you’re buying this, you’re dumb, so what do they care?

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