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Celebrity

Abercrombie Will Pay The Situation To Stop Wearing Their Clothes

I don’t wear your clothes Abercrombie. Where’s my check?

When a brand is seriously considering paying you to stop wearing their clothes, maybe you should reconsider your lifestyle. You see, because typically, when you’re famous, brands pay you to wear their clothes. So this would be the opposite of that.

We are deeply concerned that Mr. Sorrentino’s (The Situation’s) association with our brand could cause significant damage to our image. We understand that the show is for entertainment purposes, but believe this association is contrary to the aspirational nature of our brand, and may be distressing to many of our fans. We have also extended this offer to other members of the cast, and are urgently waiting a response.

That’s what an Abercrombie spokesman said in a statement. He didn’t even try to couch it in a discussion about binge drinking or womanizing. He basically just said, “We want rich, classy (read: preppy) kids to wear our clothes. These people are trashballs.” Seriously, that’s the subtext. But also fuck that guy. Abercrombie your clothes suck. Your clothes are the Jersey Shore of clothes. They think they’re way better than they are and I’m not sure why I’m being forced to see them all the time. Boom. Jersey Shore’d.

I hate everyone involved in this story.

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