1. Jim Irsay’s Indianapolis Colts made the playoffs and play their first game this week. Any fan would be excited, so you can’t blame the team’s owner for getting pumped on Twitter. You can, however, blame him for the way he went about it…
2. Let’s break this down:
3. The Hat/Facial Expression:
Irsay’s hat is in full CC Sabathia mode while his eyes appear totally stoned. This pic (not technically a selfie, though it has all the hallmarks of one) is more befitting that guy you went to college with who dropped out to become an entrepreneur, only you’re pretty sure he lives in his mom’s basement, than it is for the owner of a National Football League team.
4. The Outfit:
Jim Irsay is dressed like he’s auditioning for a new season of Jersey Shore. He’s a billionaire. It’s unclear why these things are both true at the same time.
5. The Truth:
Despite the previous pieces of evidence, Jim Irsay is an old man. Look at his arms. Those are old man arms. So in case you were fooled by his clever disguise, I’m here to tell you, he is not actually a 28-year-old slacker who pounds shots and gets in bar fights. He’s an old guy.
6. The Text:
Somehow that photo, in Irsay’s mind, equals “The Monster” needing to get “out of its cage.” Is he the monster? What’s the cage? What is it feeding on? Why do I feel like I don’t want to know the answers to any of these questions? Regardless, he felt so strongly about it, he tweeted it twice, with slightly different wordings.
8. In conclusion:
- With head clerk Kim Davis jailed, Rowan County issued several marriage licenses to same-sex couples today. ›
- After mounting pressure from other European countries, Britain will accept thousands more refugees from UN camps bordering Syria. ›
- A drowned Syrian boy, whose picture caused outrage around the world, has been buried together with his mother and 5-year-old brother. ›