7 Reasons The Lakers Will Not Win The NBA Title

Many thought last year’s playoff bust was a temporary set-back, but things don’t look good for The Lake Show. If they don’t pull off a Dwight Howard deal, it might be time to panic.

1. Metta World Peace

Jeff Gross / Getty Images

Ron Artest at his most sane and well behaved is a distraction and a player with severely diminished skills. Ron Artest just legally changed his name to Metta World Peace. Does that sound sane?

2. Mike Brown

(Jayne Kamin-Oncea-US PRESSWIRE)

I cheered for a Mike Brown-coached team for years in Cleveland. I can confidently say that there is no coach whose offensive strategy would be less fitting of the Lakers’ “Showtime” brand. This man coaches ugly, ugly basketball. And if LeBron didn’t listen to him or respect him, why would Kobe?

3. The Chris Paul Debacle

Gerald Herbert / AP

Remember a few days ago when the Lakers had traded for Chris Paul until suddenly they hadn’t? Me too. You know who else remembers it? Pau Gasol, who was on his way out of town in the trade. And we all know how mentally tough Gasol is, no matter what he’s saying about the rumors. I’m sure this won’t affect his play at all.

4. Lamar Odom’s Exit

Patrick Semansky / AP

Speaking of people who were affected by the rumors… The Lake Show basically gave Odom to one of their top rivals (the defending champion, Dallas Mavericks) for nothing, because Odom was so rattled and hurt by the idea that the Lakers didn’t want him. Giving away someone who was arguably your third best player for the last 7 years is typically not the sign of a team ready to compete. Though this will mean less Kardashians courtside, so it’s not all bad news.

5. Kobe Bryant’s Feelings On The Lamar Deal

Ladies and gentleman the leader of your 2011-2012 Los Angeles Lakers! Rule of thumb: It’s a bad sign when your captain openly expresses anger at the front office, and he’s totally, 100% right.

6. Andrew Bynum’s Knees

AP

Andrew Bynum has only played more than 53 games in a season once. His knees are terrible. The words “knee” or “kneecap” appear 21 times in his Wikipedia page. That’s more than twice the number of times that the word “basketball” appears. Also Bynum showed he isn’t the most composed of players when he was ejected in Game 4 of the Dallas series last year for nearly murdering a little person who was somehow playing basketball for the Mavericks (JJ Barea).

7. Jim Buss Is In Charge Now

With longtime owner Doctor Jerry Buss in failing health, his son Jim Buss has taken the reins. Jim Buss apparently chooses to look like infomercial-maven Tony Little. Is that the kind of decision making you want running the show? Is that the kind of guy you want to count on to bring Dwight Howard to LA? I’d be frustrated too Kobe.

BONUS: This Man Will Make $5,680,000 This Season

Okay so this probably won’t have an effect on anything (every team has bad contracts), but man I forgot how terrible that Luke Walton contract was.

Lakers fans feel free to yell at me on Twitter @JPMoore. But remember, I’m a Cavs fan, so it’s not like I think my team’s going to be better.

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