1. They had an awesome slogan.
2. And knew that plain-old zippers were for nerds.
3. They made catalogs fun to read.
4. And could help you fall in love.
They loved each other almost as much as they loved Joe Wolf.
5. They were so cool that even Isiah thomas’s stupid turtleneck couldn’t ruin them.
6. They go great with everything (but mainly snapback hats).
7. They let you look as tough as humanly possible while wearing teal.
8. Sometimes they let you make hyper-specific points.
“I don’t want people to think I like the Lakers, but I’d love it if they could know that I enjoyed the Showtime Lakers. Do you have anything that says that?”
9. They eschewed subtlety in favor of “giant honking logos.”
10. No seriously. The bigger the better.
11. I don’t think you understand, just how insanely big these logos were…
12. They look awesome on people of all shapes and sizes. From large gentlemen like Rick Ross…
13. To smaller folk like the boys of Another Bad Creation.
14. They accomplished the impossible and (indirectly) made fanny packs popular.
15. They were so much cooler than their imitators.
Look at Sherman Lewis on the left. He’s not wearing a Starter Jacket. He’s wearing what looks to be some Champion-brand knockoff of a Starter jacket. Notice how much cooler Tony Dungy (!) on the right looks. That’s a perfect look.
16. Starter Jackets were so cool that even LA Law’s Corbin Bernsen wore them. (And so did Brooke Shields!)
18. Plus they could help you dance better.
19. And don’t forget, they were super functional jackets that kept you warm.
20. They were a great look to break out at the club.
Especially if, like this guy, you brought Playboy with you to the bar too.
The bottom line is…
21. Anything that was cool enough for Chris Mullin…
22. Bob Saget…
23. And Emmit Smith…
24. Was cool enough for you.
(In this case, you’re being played by this aggressive Oakland Raiders fan.)
25. Don’t believe me? Even Bill Belichick liked them.
And he hates everything.