1. What a taut behind you’ve got there, Mr. Croft.
2. And what a bulging crotch! Point it at that T-Rex. I bet it’ll intimidate him.
3. Oh, you’ve got two guns? They’re mighty big guns, Mr. Croft.
4. But you can holster one in the dark. I can still see you!
5. Better put both away when you’re jumping, and just focus on getting that body from one ledge to another.
6. But you can also just hang out and take your time.
7. You don’t want to miss all of the lovely things to stare at!
8. Anyway, enjoy exploring, Mr. Croft! Get nice and sweaty!
- U.S. President Barack Obama and leaders from 20 nations called for doubling clean energy research funding over the next five years at the Paris climate summit 🌍 ›
- The man accused in Friday's Planned Parenthood shooting in Colorado made his first court appearance. Charges are expected to be formally filed on Dec. 9. ›
- And there's a hilarious new rap meme of Pope Francis, thanks to a photo taken over the weekend of him giving his blessing 🙏🎤 ›