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It Turns Out Gay Porn And Pokemon Have Way More In Common Than You’d Think

Thanks to the Tumblr Gotta Cum ‘Em All!, you’ll never look at Bulbasaur the same way again. Kinda sorta NSFW.

1. Squirtle

“This Tiny Turtle Pokémon draws its long neck into its shell to launch incredible water attacks with amazing range and accuracy. The blasts can be quite powerful.”

2. Dusclops

“The Beckon Pokémon. Dusclops is said to be able to suck practically anything into its body. The black hole-like core of which is completely empty.”

3. Ekans

“The older it gets, the longer it grows. At night, it wraps its long body around tree branches to rest.”

4. Weepinbell

“The leafy parts act as cutters for slashing foes. It spits a fluid that dissolves everything.”

5. Deino

“The Irate Pokémon. Because Deino never stops biting anything it can, it is dangerous to approach without taking precautions.”

6. Vanilluxe

“The Snowstorm Pokémon, and the evolved form of Vanillish. Vanilluxe produces snow clouds by swallowing great quantities of water. It emits a blizzard when both heads are angered.”

7. Woobat

“Suction from its nostrils enables it to stick to cave walls during sleep. It leaves a heart-shaped mark behind.”

8. Horsea

“It makes its nest in the shade of corals. If it senses danger, it spits murky ink and flees.”

9. Furret

“It makes a nest to suit its long and skinny body. The nest is impossible for other Pokémon to enter.”

10. Venosaur

“The Seed Pokémon. Venusaur uses its large petals to capture sunlight and transform it into energy.”

11. Bulbasaur

“The seed on its back is filled with nutrients. The seed grows steadily larger as its body grows.”

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Joe Bernstein is a senior technology reporter for BuzzFeed News and is based in New York. Bernstein reports on and writes about the gaming industry and web culture.
Contact Joseph Bernstein at joe.bernstein@buzzfeed.com.
 
 
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