1. The inside of a camel’s mouth is an actual festering horror
2. When a camel is horny an organ in its throat pops out of its mouth and dangles down like a heavy pink scrotum
Can you imagine that thing rubbing your arm
4. And they want it all the time, with any species
5. What the fuck
what the fuck
6. They have a taste for human children
7. Seriously, child flesh is like bacon to them
8. One camel killed thousands and thousands of people
9. Camels never forget
They just lie there grinding their teeth, staring malevolently, and waiting for a chance to strike
10. They’re assholes and everyone knows it
11. A camel isn’t even grateful when you get it a luxurious top
12. Camels know the difference between right and wrong, they just don’t care
“The man tried to calm down his camel but the animal bit him in the face and kicked him, causing him to fall down on the ground.
The camel then began kicking his owner while he was lying on the floor…the farmer died of his injuries while the camel fled.”
14. They projectile vomit on people they don’t like
Camels don’t spit. They literally throw up in fast-moving spurts
While traveling in North Africa, I rode a camel. I got on it, and it raised up and stopped, and I thought it was all the way up, so I took my arms off its reins. Then it kept going up like a weird meat elevator making two stops. I rocked forward and my head hit the camel’s back. Later, I heard the camel and a Bedouin man laughing at me.
That night, as a thousand frigid stars stabbed through the clear cold sky, I realized I would never understand the desert.
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