In the waning moments of regulation in yesterday’s heartbreaking 2-1 loss to Belgium, the US national team had a very good chance to win the game. Jermaine Jones put a header right on the foot of US forward Chris Wondolowski, who could have either passed to Clint Dempsey or tapped the ball in for a goal that would have almost certainly won the match. Here’s what happened instead:
Many will accuse Chris Wondolowski of blowing the best chance for the US to advance to the quarterfinals of the World Cup, which only comes around once every four years. Regardless of whether or not that is true, perception is reality, as they say, and Chris Wondolowski may need a place to go for awhile to reflect and recover. Here are some places that we think would be good for Chris Wondolowski, right now.
Brussels is the largest city in Belgium and home to the headquarters of EU, which would likely give Chris Wondolowski shelter and protection according to the humanist values of the European tradition.
Antwerp, the second largest city in Belgium, has one of the largest ports in Europe, making it an ideal place for Chris Wondolowski to go in case he needs to disappear in a hurry.
Scenic Ghent, a city in Belgium, would be an ideal place for Chris Wondolowski to take his mind off of things.
Charleroi, also a city in Belgium, would likely be a good destination for Chris Wondolowski to go for a spell.
The Belgian city of Liege has a mild, temperate climate, making it a good place for Chris Wondolowski to forget the hot passions and burning anguish of 300 million Americans.
This place in Belgium is known as “the city of the donkeys.” Unrelatedly, Chris Wondolowski might enjoy a fortnight here.
The white buildings and green shrubs of Anderlecht, a municipality in the European country of Belgium, would make a good place for Chris Wondolowski to be.
Though it sounds fake, Namur is a real place in Belgium and it looks like it has a fortress/citadel situation going on. That means Chris Wondolowski would also be safe there.
In addition to being in Belgium, Leuven is home to the headquarters of Anheuser-Busch InBev, which makes beer. Beer is well known for its alcoholic content, and alcohol is well known for the ability to dim painful memories. This makes Leuven an ideal place for Chris Wondolowski to go next.