1. Ben and Leslie are the most in-sync, perfect couple ever.
Yes, you should be jealous, because no, you will never find a match for yourself this perfect.
2. And they are now the most perfect married couple.
Even Ron had emotions that day, which led him to assaulting Councilman Jamm, who totally deserved it.
3. But that doesn’t mean she can’t still have dreams about VP Joe Biden, of course.
We’re talking about sex dreams.
4. And let’s be real: Ann Perkins is Leslie’s one (or second or third) true love.
5. Which is bad news, since Rashida Jones is leaving halfway through the season!!!!
As BuzzFeed first reported, Jones and Rob Lowe will depart Pawnee this year; Jones is moving on to her own writing and development deal, which includes several sold shows and a movie already.
6. Ann and Chris are trying to have a baby together, so maybe they’ll have a happy ending at least?!
That would *literally* be the perfect exit.
7. Meanwhile, Ann’s ex Tom Haverford has started his own business.
He rents out his gigantic collection of tiny clothing to kids, tweens, and teens.
8. And business is booming!
In fact, someone wanted to buy the whole operation from Tom — it may or may not have been Diddy — but he declined. So a rival clothing rental store is coming to Pawnee.
10. And she is the WooOOooOrst!
11. They’ll just never have an Andy & April kind of love.
12. Honestly, you should be jealous of their love because it is so romantical.
13. So even though April is going to veterinary school in Bloomington, we know they’ll be OK.
14. Unfortunately, April won’t be there to help Leslie in her re-call election fight.
Apparently, Pawnee doesn’t take too kindly to public health codes, especially diabetes prevention.
15. And Leslie’s accidentally great relationship with the porn community won’t help matters.
Just don’t blame guest star Jason Schwartzman, who is a champion of the human spirit.
16. The good news is that she has a real can-do attitude.
17. And at least Jerry won’t be around as much to screw things up.
Homeboy has retired to his gorgeous wife and murinals. But then again, who will lick all those envelopes? And be lovable? Save Jerry!
18. There was so much love in Pawnee last season, even Ron found a mate.
And her name isn’t Tammy! It’s Diane! Played by Lucy Lawless! Yes, Xena!
19. Yep, even this guy’s heart was opened up.
20. And as it turns out, he’s going to be a father.
That seed is just too powerful, and sought its god-given right to freedom from any sort of contraception.
And now, some things to know about the new season:
21. It starts in London.
22. And that means a guest appearance by Peter Serafinowicz.
23. Henry Winkler plays Jean Ralphio’s dad!
24. Heidi Klum will appear, too, much to Leslie’s apparent chagrin.
25. And she’ll have to face off against her Eagleton doppleganger too.
Oh hey, Kristen Bell.
26. But she won’t be able to stay upset long, because this happens:
27. Oh, and this too.
See you in Pawnee!