1. Throw one back whenever an actor lies, “I’m just happy to be nominated!”
2. Slug one down whenever a red carpet reporter says something mystifyingly stupid
3. When Tina and Amy come out and you realize that all you want is to be their best friend or intern, shot!
Add another whenever you refer to them only by their first names.
4. If Shia LaBeouf gets mentioned, steal the drink of the person next to you
5. Whenever Jennifer Lawrence does something preciously awkward, drink twice
6. When you see a star wearing jewelry that costs more money than you make in a year, take a small sip
7. You pretend to have seen the movie/TV show that just won in order to impress the people at the party
8. When you realize that you’re angry that a rich person you’ll never know just lost a trophy, drink to feel OK!
9. Down four years’ worth of frustration if and when Taylor Swift wins Best Song and acts surprised
10. Whenever they show the cast of Breaking Bad, pour one out
Our last Globes with these guys…