1. Your Twitter Followers Are FAKE
You claim you have 1.6 million Twitter followers but when you tweeted that this is your “new favorite video” guess how many clicked, Ashton??? Less than 6,000. That means way less than 1% of your followers even click your links! Sounds fishy! Very fishy. How did you get those “followers”? Might want to ask your tech guy and your PR people because they are FAKE!!
2. You Checked Out My Friend’s Ass Even Though You Are Married
A couple years ago you were in New York and you were totally checking out this friend of mine. You even peaked at her ass. And flirted with her! I thought you loved your wife, Ashton! What is the deal?
3. Blah Girls is Retarted
Seriously? Blah Girls is your big web project??? Most of my friends are HUGE Ashton fans and even they thought it was lame. They were like “no no he must not be involved, Ashton would never do something this bad, he is a visionary” - it broke their hearts when the discovered you were really behind it. Kinda like you broke my heart when you did not respond to my tweet!!!