10 Funniest Smiths Lyrics

Morrissey’s lyrics have a tendency to dwell on unrequited love, rainy days, and cemetery gates. Funny right?

1. “The Queen Is Dead”


And so I checked all the registered historical facts
And I was shocked and ashamed to discover
How I’m the 18th pale descendant
Of some old queen or other

So, I broke into the palace
With a sponge and a rusty spanner
She said : “Eh, I know you, and you cannot sing”
I said : “That’s nothing - you should hear me play piano”

ID: 1627095

Take that, monarchy.

ID: 1627232

2. “Handsome Devil”


Let me get my hands
On your mammary glands

ID: 1627126

3. “Some Girls Are Bigger Than Others”


As Anthony said to Cleopatra
As he opened a crate of ale:

Oh, I say:
Some girls are bigger than others
Some girls are bigger than others
Some girl’s mothers are bigger than
Other girl’s mothers

ID: 1627142

4. “Ask”


Spending warm summer days indoors
Writing frightening verse
To a buck-toothed girl in Luxembourg

ID: 1627164
ID: 1627261

5. “Sheila Take A Bow”


Sheila take a, Sheila take a bow
Boot the grime of this world in the crotch, dear

ID: 1627219

6. “Nowhere Fast”


I’d like to drop my trousers to the Queen
Every sensible child will know what this means

Him and the Queen…

ID: 1627711

7. “Half A Person”


Then I’ll tell you the story of my life :
Sixteen, clumsy and shy
I went to London and I,
I booked myself in at the Y … W.C.A.
I said : “I like it here - can I stay ?
I like it here - can I stay ?
Do you have a vacancy
For a back scrubber?”

ID: 1627737

8. “Shakespeare’s Sister”


I thought that if you had
An acoustic guitar
Then it meant that you were
A protest singer

ID: 1627748

9. “William, It Was Really Nothing”


How can you stay with a fat girl who’ll say
“Oh, would you like to marry me,
And if you like you can buy the ring?”
She doesn’t care about anything…

ID: 1627789

10. “Still Ill”


I decree today that life
Is simply taking and not giving
England is mine - it owes me a living
But ask me why, and I’ll spit in your eye

ID: 1627719

Hysterical, indeed.

ID: 1627930

Did we miss any? Share them with us in the comments!

ID: 1633301

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