1. The Little Princess
Dress me like this again and you’ll feel my pee in your mattress, buddy.
2. Darth Dog
Everyone keeps saying I’ve gone to the “Bark side”. It’s such a bad pun…
3. The Beagle-ing of the End
These are winter tones! I’m a summer dog. I… oh, what’s the point…
I don’t quite recall the exact moment I turned to drink.
5. Feeling like the first mouse.
If one more person offers me a bit of cheese, I’m taking their face off.
6. Quilted and Jilted
Why does the cat keep laughing at me?
7. And she wore it for the rest of her days.
I’m a pretty girl. I’m a pretty girl. I’m a pretty girl. I’m a pretty girl…
8. Who knows not where a dog does wear his sting?
Son: Why are they doing this to us, dad?
Dad: Because we didn’t Bee-have…
9. Santa’s Little Helper
When they started dressing me like this, I lost my sense of who I am - my sense of elf.
10. Midnight Bow-Wow-Boy
I didn’t always used to hang around on street corners dressed like this.
12. Big Dog on Campus
They said the stripes would be slimming. They lied.
13. Another Bee (Just Bee-cause)
I’m not even original! The Bulldogs at No.8 beat me too it. And at least they have each other.
15. Twisted Fire Starter
Yes. I get it. You wanted a Dalmatian. *sigh*
Well screw you too, buddy! You think I chose this? Do you? DO YOU!?