You Woke Up With A Spider In Your Mouth, Now What?

A helpful guide.

Spiders climb into our mouths while we are sleeping eight times a year. Usually we stay asleep and they just crawl down our throats. Unfortunately, sometimes we wake up. Here's what to do if you just woke up with a spider in your mouth.

1. Identify the spider.

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Use the Internet and a bathroom mirror to identify the intruder. It's probably just a common hairy wolf spider but sometimes it's a black widow.

2. Clear the web.

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The spider has likely spun a web around your teeth. You can either clear this using two fingers or capture and preserve it with baby powder, hairspray, and black construction paper.

3. Trap the spider.

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Use your tongue and the soft lining of your mouth to trap the spider. This will prevent it from retreating further into your body.

4. Put it in a jar.

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Now that the spider is trapped, place your mouth around a small jar. Gently tap the back of your head while relaxing your tongue to transfer the spider into the jar. Quickly secure the jar with a lid so the spider doesn't run back into your mouth.

5. Remove egg sacks.

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With the spider gone you can now safely check for baby egg sacks between your teeth. Floss away any baby egg sacks. If one should burst, and tiny spiders pour into your mouth, repeat steps 1-5.

6. Go back to sleep.

Charlotte Gomez

You have to work in the morning so it's important that you return to sleep promptly. Kiss your significant other goodnight before telling them about your mouth spider.