Harmsworth
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REJECT BLAME CULTURE
We say, “Change happens” with some resolve. It’s an existential observation, no doubt emanating from the same place that allows us to accept tornado “seasons.” But when did we become a country that assigns blame to the winds of change?
"Warnings can blow me!" declares Uncle Sam!
The Consumer Product Safety Commission did NOT ban Buckyballs, but 'em called a serious *ingestion hazard* and convinced 10 retailers, including Amazon.com, to stop selling them (the manufacturer has refused to voluntarily withdraw the product from the market). I say, kudos to manufacturer Maxfield & Oberton: idiot parenting’s the real hazard here. Yet we’re left with a panel of stiffs in Washington again protecting us from ourselves.
L.A. RIOTS As Seen From a Maximum Security Prison
You’d think after 20 years there’d have been a book or movie about watching the L.A. riots from prison, where day-to-day dynamics of race and equality are already challenging. And though it’s likely such a view would have been twisted into the taffy of a Broadway musical by now, we got nuthin’. So let’s put it this way: most prison televisions sit in protective steel enclosures for good reason.
The Year I Drove Around With “FUCKER!” Carved Into My Door
A whole year! Couldn’t go anywhere without catching people’s double-takes and obliging demands for backstory. This is what my “get character or become one” philosophy is made of. I didn’t have the character to resist cheating on my girlfriend, so I became – for about a year – the jerk with “FUCKER!” carved into the door of his Jeep Cherokee.
What Happens In The PRISON Shower
Rape scenes in prison movies always show a group of guys holding some poor bastard down so that only the principal sicko can nail him. Give me a break! Convicts are way too selfish for that. A guy twisted enough to be pinning another fella down for an assault in the first place would be fighting for a chance to see what’s so great about it! If it’s really worth the hassle, why should only one guy get any?
There Are Many Excuses For Eating McDonald’s. These Are Mine.
http://www.whereexcusesgotodie.com/blog/there-are-many-excuses-for-eating-mcdonald’s-these-are-mine/
Heroin Burritos!
One ingredient did not belong in the burrito that Deputy Henry Marin allegedly agreed to deliver inside the Los Angeles jail: heroin.
NEW YEAR’S RESOLUTIONS = TALK
By not following through on things, I’ve caused more damage to my self-image and confidence than all of the frustrations or bad luck the world has ever thrown at me.
No Happy New Year for Hollywood Arsonist
It wasn’t ‘til I was standing in front of a bathrobe-swaddled neighbor, watching firemen hose down her car, that my own desensitization to stupid human tricks was stripped bare. The look on her face and the faces of her fellow tenants was a mix of disbelief and “What am I going to do now?”
Estée Lauder Introduces European-Specific Skincare Line, Reminding Us Of Our War Against American Women
In order to keep American Women buying its makeup, in 2012 Estée Lauder will bank on products specifically designed for "more discerning" European women. It's utter B.S., but these divide and conquer strategies keeps women subjugated through competition and should be rejected.
Skip the Excuses: If You Waste Food You’re an Asshole – Happy Thanksgiving
If coercing your children into cutting food waste by imagining starving babies makes sense to you, do it. It’s lazy, but you’re probably parentally lazy elsewhere, too, so don’t sweat it. Just remember that you may be doing little more than perpetuating a failed cycle, thereby squandering the lessons you (thought you) learned as a kid.
At Least Inmates Don’t Protect Child Molesters
Ironic, isn’t it? Out here in the real world, kid-touchers are shielded by priests, police departments, and now football coaches. Behind bars, where society’s worst are sent, hiding a “Chester” is unthinkable.
From Beat-downs to Bear Hugs!
Cascade of Karma in wake of jail abuse allegations: My Journey from L.A. County Custody to Sheriff Lee Baca’s Wild World of Wheelin’ and Dealin’
A Word to the Wide
By Martin Kessman’s own admission, the 290-pounder refuses to enter his favorite fast food feeder, White Castle, requiring his wife to retrieve his preferred meals for him. An embarrassed Kessman wouldn’t set foot in the restaurant after his repeated attempts to wrestle himself into booth-style seating succeeded only in entertaining and disturbing other diners.
Holding Cells Aren’t Sexy
As for Take the Money’s police investigators coercing confessions and attempting to flip their “suspects,” I wonder if these cops are struggling to maintain game show etiquette and avoid embedded ethnic resentments or career bitterness. I thought I might’ve seen snippets of both in the premiere episode.
Why It’s Not “Too Soon” to Mock Amy Winehouse --- What’s the Difference Between February and Amy Winehouse? February Makes It to 28!
Sure there’s “a time and place” for certain things, but to me the dominion of “improper” here begins graveside and ends at the grieving parent’s face. Otherwise all bets are off. So no, I wouldn’t go up to Mitch Winehouse at the funeral to tell him his daughter ranks two steps down from Sid Vicious, but that’s about the only occasion where I won’t call this dead duck a dead duck.
Goodbye, Space Shuttle: My Best Trespassing Stories All Involve You
When the engine went off we were closer than any Launch-watcher or VIP would ever get at the Kennedy Space Center. The blast burned for 320 seconds; the flame was like the sun if the sun could spread-eagle.
In Praise of Scorn: Transformers 3
Fergie has Gary Busy Jaw! Strangulation with a LAP-BAND™! Guantanamo Bay Prison Film School! Transformers is worse than being pee'd on!
Ryan Dunn: Forever Associated With Wasted Potential
When Jackass celebrity Ryan Dunn drove his Porsche at speeds above 130 mph, as a public figure he left himself and his actions open to the interpretations of others – millions of others: famous others, fringe others, and others in the news. Everybody.
The Prison Sex Change Controversy, As Argued by Bert and Ernie |
Muppets have no genitalia. Might they have something interesting to add to he ongoing national dialog? Let's eavesdrop, shall we?