1. Talking to people you’ve shared a class or worked with for years.
3. Putting something down anywhere for just one second.
“It was literally just here a second ago. HOW COULD IT HAVE GOT LOST IN THAT TIME?”
4. Walking into a room to do something.
“I…came in here to do a thing. A very important thing…”
“Who is this? Why do they know so much about me? How long can I fake this?”
6. Putting something in a safe place.
“It’s safe. It’s super safe. Even I can’t find it, that’s how safe it is.”
7. Texting people back.
“I AM SO SORRY, I MEANT TO REPLY TO THIS LAST WEEK!”
8. Telling jokes.
Weirdly, most people seem to think remembering the punchline is an essential part of telling a joke.
9. Continuing a conversation after you’ve been interrupted.
“Sorry, what was I saying?”
10. Leaving the house, ever.
Did you turn off the oven/iron/straighteners? Better go home and check!
11. Being asked to remember any passwords or pins.
“It’s fine. I didn’t want access to my bank account anyway.”
12. Letting anybody else use your computer.
“Shit. Shit. Shit. Did I remember to delete the history? Did I close those windows? What’s my desktop background?”
13. Any exam, test, or pub quiz.
Sure, you can remember all the lyrics to “Thrift Shop”, but when it comes to useful knowledge, you’re screwed.
14. Telling a funny story.
“Oh, of course, I told you that one already.”
15. Meeting up with people.
The secret’s out: The reason you never make plans isn’t because you’re spontaneous – you’re just terrible at sticking to them.
16. Seeing people you sort of know out in public.
You are a master at polite vague conversation. Your range of generic names for people is unparalleled. The world is your “mate”, “hun”, or “sweetie”. You’ve got this.
The word “belated” was invented for people like you.
18. Meeting your friends’ parents and forgetting their names even though you’ve met them 400 times.
“Oh. Hi there…um…Andy’s mum.”
19. Checking in on your friends’ lives.
“Oh, yeah, how was that thing…you said you were doing….you know?”
20. Trying to remember where you parked your car.
“I definitely remember it was next to a silver car, somewhere in this car park…”