19 Things Every Academic Will Immediately Relate To

    With great academic power comes a surprisingly limited amount of academic responsibility. Via Sh*t Academics Say.

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    Don't become an academic. Just kidding. But seriously, stay out of my field.

    3.

    Two academics walk into a bar. You should be writing.

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    I may disapprove of what you say but will defend to the death your right to say it after peer review.

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    With great academic responsibility often comes a surprisingly limited amount of academic power.

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    Correlation does not equal causation. Unless it does, in which case that expensive longitudinal study was probably unnecessary.

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    Successful academic writing: 1% inspiration 12.51% perseveration 13% omission 30% citation 50% procrastination 90% nonnegotiable deadlines

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    We wish to thank Reviewer 2 for their critical feedback & sincerely apologize for not having written the manuscript they would have written.

    12.

    It's not self-plagiarism. It's an implicit acknowledgment that one cannot improve upon perfection.

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    "I'm opening an academic-publishing-themed restaurant. You bring the ingredients & get volunteers to cook & serve. Now pay me $10,000." @xor

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    You had me at "I read your most recent paper."

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